The traffic song

Read it to the tune of Kholo Kholo darwaze from the movie Taare Zamin Par

The traffic Song !!


Kholo kholo darwaze, office ko nikalo saare,
monday morning ka office nama, aaj time pe hai jana

Aajao motorcar leke, sang do char yaar leke
Road pe ye traffic jam, aaj hamen hai lagana

Car ke andar hairaan tu, traffic ka hai mehamaan tu
Traffic lagi tere liye, thoda chill mar le tu

Tu stud hai, cut maar nikal,
tu hai dude O bekhabar
Left maar kahin, aage jaan kahin
Road khali jahan, teri toh manzil hai wahin

O, kyun is kadar hairaan tu, traffic ka hai mehmaan tu

Skoda ki Ocatavia gaadi, chalane ko hum hai raazi
Bina registration ke, road pe abhi abhi hai utaari

O, cut tune hai jo mara, scratch gaddi pe lagaya
Chupchap kat le, damage thik karale ise

Tujh mein agar maaj Hai, police ka ghar Bhi Pass Hai
O, roke muze Koi kyon bhala, gadi pe laal light hai

Tu stud hai, cut maar nikal,
tu hai dude O bekhabar
Left maar kahin, aage jaan kahin
Road khali jahan, teri toh manzil hai wahin

Khul gaya, traffic ka jam dekho khul gaya
Mil gaya green signal bhi sabko mil gaya

O, start hui saari gaddi, accelerate hua saara jatha
Speed lene Ko Tu Azad Hai, red light koi abh hai kahan

Tu stud hai, cut maar nikal,
tu hai dude O bekhabar
Left maar kahin, aage jaan kahin
Road khali jahan, teri toh manzil hai wahin

O, kyun is kadar hairaan tu, traffic ka hai mehmaan tu

The solution to the problem...

Samiere Says "Solution to the problem changes the problem"

Wish I was wrong but it happens.
Yes.
It happens with everyone and I am no exception.

Its the last Sunday morning of my 30 days of freedom and the hangover of the saturday night (overnight) is no where to be seen. I am hungry.

I come to the balcony. I see people on the street. The fish market is full of life. The buyers are happy. The sellers are happy.

I feel happy and all of a sudden I realize that I am hungry.

I am sad.

Problem. Infact a very big problem.
No one @ home to cook for me and I am too tired of buying vegetables and cooking. Enough of ordered food from nearby restaurants. I know all the operators and the delivery boys. They also know me.

Need to find out a solution to the problem.

Think - Thank - Thunk.

I remember Steve Jobs once saying "stay hungry, stay foolish"

Shit. dont want to be a fool. Enough of that. !!!

Need to find out the solution on the 11th hour priority.

Open the news paper. Sad stories in the main paper. Close.
Go to suppliments.

Aha !!

The article on the first page. "The chief cause of the problems is solutions".

Confusion. Whos da culprit: the problem or the solution?

I dont know but its Ok. In confusion lies success.

So I am going to be successful today.

to be continued.....................

Swift and 7 da minute drive

Samiere says " You can always reach anywhere in 7 minutes provided you drive fast enough"

How True and what a time to realize.

Left Pune @ 15:45 Hours.

We cruized da Pune-Bengeluru highway @ 140Km/Hr. Thanks to the cattle who never explored the greener grass on the other side"

The cruize deaccelerated from 140Km/Hr to 10Km/Hr after a span of 100Km.
The Culprit: toll booth

The damages: 5 Rs and 2 Minutes

The Scene: 12 odd vehicles waiting in the queue and yes, the 7 minute journey could not have afforded any waiting.

The Solution: Samiere bypassed 11 vehicles due credit to The JIT (Just in time) idea of LIFO (Last in First out) and yes, there were few exchanges of "Greetings" (Maa-bahen type) but the Rock*** (Atul aka Hulk) came to our rescue.
The journey must be completed in time.

Soon we left da main highway and headed towards Wai.

Samiere had a tough time overtaing a temporickshaw with 2 "Bail".

And how could our part-time photographer Atul could miss a chance to show his so called talent of photography.
He was not too quick to grab the opportunity and the photos were miserably pathetic.
Balraj spent 5 hours touching up the photographs - just to prove Atul's point.
Needless to say, the bullpowered vehicle was left behind in no time.

The journey must be completed in time.

Then began the long and winding uphill climb. The cruize could have been @ much accelerated pace but......you should have seen when I got it.

I just discovered that my swift z heavily loaded (infact overloaded) with da gang and we r climbing the so called NH14 - off the beaten track. The car could not have maintained the speed to cover the journey in 7 minutes and I was looking for a reason to put off the AC

The weather outside was chilled and the proposal to roll down the window was unanimously passed. 5-0. What a great victory !! Must be celebrated.

Horn !! Pooo Pooo Pooo Pooo .....

Although few trespassers objected to the 120Db sound pollution :Horn Ok Please.

I Guess by that time the six onboard computers had teamed up with the 16 valved 32 Bit hypertech engine and were always there to cut my throttle. Wish I was wrong but you can't gaurd against the arbitrary.

Still I thought we could make it on time.

Now it was my crew members turn to add to the delay. Excuse: pit stop.

With a graphic designer (Balraj*) and a free lance photographer (Samiere**) on the trail, how could a pit stop be without a photosession. Mukky, Attu and Amy too were quick to get in to action..... and yes again some more waste of timepass.

Samiere says "You can not make up for the lost time"

How true but the crew members never realized this.

By the time 137 vehicles had marched ahead and Samiere still thought he could make it.

Now it was not just a race against the time but also against those 137 vehicles.

Enough is never enough.

Arm all doors. Seatbelts. Release the handbreak and......off we go.
but Samiere please start the ignition and vehicle is rolling in reverse direction.

Hold it. Thamba.

138th Vehicle gone.

Time to show some great driving skills. Panchgani is just 8Km away.

I think samiere can still make it on time but everything takes longer that what Samiere thinks.

Nothing is as easy as it looks. The road - the traffic - the weather.

and just then Murphy said "Things get worse under pressure".

Time to release some pressure off da accelerator - good work so far.

Stop.

Just take a look around. Great landscapes. Few waterfalls. Clean blue sky. Lush green Mountains.

And then Fredrick said: When all else fails, follow the instructions.

Signpost: Take a right turn for Panchgani Table top.

We took the turn. The road less travelled ended our 7 Minute drive from Pune to Panchgani.

The journey was never completed on time but Samiere was an optimist.